You know you love me. MadeGirl

Ok so what I'm gonna do is put the last pages of my last blog, so that you know what I'm talking about ...


Saturday , March 20th 2004

Just writing, still trying to spend time in something less tiring than tiding my room or doing homework…

OK, so I’m 15 and my life sucks. (So damn original … lol ).

Things I like in my life

* Punk Rock ( GC, Mest , Simple Plan, Sum, Fountains of Wayne ,…)
* Concerts ( occasions for me to get out of this house …)
* Parties ( Same excuz )
* Buds ( The only persons nearly normal in here )
* My room ( The only place nearly normal in here )
* Music Music Music Radio Radio Radio

Things I dislike in my life

( To make really short )

* My whole family and relatives ( except my uncle , who’s pretty cool )
* Family reunions (Guess why )
* Our beloved president, and his american mate ( that was for the « I have opinions » part )
* Not being able to go on the Internet cause my fuckin computer doesn’t have it yet (drivin me insane…)
* I won’t get into the school thing …
* Thinkin about my future ( Fuckin freakin me out )
*Makin lists of what I hate in life cause there are loads of them, and I feel like my life sucks , (which is partly true , but makes me even more depressed )…

OK, so my Dad (let’s talk about this one ) has got a real problem . Let me explain : My mother has been on holiday for about a week , so she left by the sea shore (it is kinda dead down there but then…) Everything would have been quite normal ( That is to say a total nightmare , 7 days in the heart of Hell, with the Devil ), if my beloved Daddy didn’t return almost every night at about 3 A.M ( at least, cause then I fell asleep ). The worst thing about it is that the guy didn’t even seem to realize that I was not so stupid, and that I knew he came back real late … So on Saturday, I was so god damn upset with all this shit, that I asked him why I returned at 4.30 AM the night before . Well let me tell you I have never seen somebody feelin so embarrassed in my whole stinky life … Just read :

Me , returning from school ( I can’t believe my life stinks so much !! ) : Hey Dad
Dad: Hey, how dya do ?
Me: Fine .
Dad: There’s been a flood in my bathroom while I was havin a bath !
Me : ( I know, you’re always having a bath , thank God it was not in mine … ) Oh, OK. ( As if I felt any interested in a flood )
Dad : So, how was school 2day ?
Me: Fine, by the way Dad, you could have called, just to say that you would return at about 4.30 AM… ( Like «  I was really worried about it… »  )
Dad ( Lookin SO EMBARASSED ): Er… ( hesitating, but realizing that I had an evidence about his hour of return ) , yeah but, you know, I was with friends, we were like, havin a good time, and everything …

I wonder what kind of friends hang around in Paris till 4.30 AM, and, most of all, what they all do at 4.30 AM in Paris , cause bars are closed at about 2 AM, and movies close at 00.30, so what the fuck do they do? Hang out in the streets, drag their feet in public parks ? Come on … Mean I was like « Don’t talk craps Dad, I don’t know what you’ve been doin last night, and I don’t even wanna know, but don’t try to lie, it’s so not you ». I mean, what the hell is goin on ? ! I thought my father would never act that way, you know, hang out till the crack of dawn … He’s not even an artist … Honestly, it’s definitely not my father’s thing to go see whores, or drink beer all night to forget his problems, he’s not an alcooholic, neither a pervert, thank God! But then, remains a mystery … Where the fuck has he been all night ?! I’m beginning to wonder if he’s not having an affair with his secretary or something… A bitch called Rita or else … lol… No, seriously, I hope that now that my mother has returned from Nowhere Land , everything will get back as usual, that is to say a boring life, with no night hangin out, or Kennedy love affairs …

So that was for the Dad thing .

Now let’s talk about the horrible part of my life ( No, let’s just say a part of my horrible life ) : My Future . Just thinking about it is like driving me insane and depressed

What I am supposed to do : study, study, study, and become a journalist (like my father , no comment), a lawyer ( I am the new Cochran !! ) , a 9 to 5 crapp or something like that …

What I wanna do : Meet Tony Lovato ( or Benji Madden, or his twin , or else , see I am not so exacting ) , create my own rock band, and let’s go ! Go on tour with GC, Mest, SP, Less than Jake , New Found Glory, American Hi Fi, or else , drink beer , and have sex for the rest of my life … Much cooler , need less work , need more chance …

I mean that could be possible , as soon as I learn how 2 play the guitar … See I know how to sing not so bad , I speak English nearly like I speak French , and I can make up really smart plans when I want to … With a little help from my brains, I could manage getting close to Tony, that’s for sure, but then, what would I say ? I mean, you know, when I know what I’m gonna tell Tony by heart , and when I am in front of the guy I can’t think of a line … That’s fuckin bad….

OK so now it’s 09:48 PM ,and I’ve been watching the Sopranos for now 45 minutes … Funny how Tony Soprano looks just like my « false » uncle Gerald , but looking better, and smarter, and richer . I’m now wondering if my father is not becoming some kind of a Sopranos psycho or something, tryin to imitate Tony by cheating on my Mom…. I hope not, I just can’t imagine my father cutting off some bloke’s arm , or being the boss of a strip tease club … That could be pretty cool though … lol

Told Mum about the Dad thing . I mean, I know it’s not my business and everything, but I thought I was important to tell Mum there was a reason why there was such a fuckin bad ambiance at home . I just said the guy came back real late at night the past few weeks, and specially on Friday night . I didn’t think Mum would show any interest in what I was saying , cause I thought she was the kind of « My husband’s cheating on me , there must be a reason , let’s find out , but not get upset about it » woman, but she actually was like « How do you know he came back so late ? I didn’t know about that », looking surprised . If this can help my Mum stop being like my father’s dog , that’ll be great . I mean I think my Mum never complains about the way my father treats her, cause she must have an inferioty complex or something like that . You know my grandfather is the kind of man who read each and every single fuckin borin book on Earth, and who feels bloody proud of it , and my father is just like that , so proud of himself , assertive, and most of all , so in love with himself, just like my grandfather . I suppose my mother is a bit like Marilyn Monroe , thinking that being married with a brain is a real occasion for her to become a brain herself, so it is not so bad if she’s just treated like a piece of meat, cause that’s not whats imports in their relationship, and he gives her much more than that , etc …. and all the fuckin crapps … But who cares , that’s not my bloody life, and, let’s hope , it’ll never be … But sometimes I feel so worried about my husband to be , I mean my mother married a guy who was like a second Grandpa, so why not me married with a second Dad ? Holy Jesus , I’m prayin everyday for this never to happen …

I’ve been reading Cosmo for an hour before dinner , it was a special sensuality issue . It seems that to become more attractive and sexy, I’ll have to act like Rachel Green … You know, Jennifer Aniston, from Friends … I hope I won’t have to go out with a gravy boat or something, but I’m ok for going out with Brad ! Lol … Seriously ( but is it really a serious topic ? ), to look hotter, all I have to do is put my hand between my two breasts when feeling moved ! Isn’t that so simple ? Thank you guys for the advice, it’ll help me seduce E.J … Then I did the sensuality test and guess what …. I have a « Latino sensuality » . I can’t believe my sensuality looks just like J.Lo’s in spite of my North of France origins … But then , what can I do if I’m just a sex symbol … lmfao

By the way, do you guys know what lmfao means ? I bet you don’t , you silly ! It is the initials for « Laughing My Fuckin Ass Off » , cause I can’t always put «  Lots of Laughs » at the end of my funny (!) sentences ! I’d be like an old fool, always repeating the same word …

Anyway, I have just decided to start a new era of my life : the « interesting » one . Let me explain :
Now that I know how to look really hot ( even though I must have been a minimum hot before , cause E.J told me I was hot on March 10th, which was 11 days before I learnt how to be hot, which means that I actually didn’t really need to learn how to be hot ) , and that I have started expressing my opinions ( On Saturday , I went to an anti-war demo in Paris, which was pretty intense, but great … By the way, FUCK GEORGE BUSH !! I just couldn’t help myself …), I am starting to become the « Hot with Brains » kinda girl , which is real cool when you think about it , cause it seems ( I read it in Cosmo ) that guys don’t actually like hot girls , but smart girls ( yeah right, my foot ! ), so I simply concluded that, being an unfortunate journalist’s daughter , I knew that the article couldn’t be completely right, but not completely wrong either , so I could just try to still look hot, but to be smart too ! Being smart can’t be so bad anyway …

Now it’s 10:40 PM , and I guess I gotta go … Not to sleep, thank God, but just to listen to music ( like … er … Mest for example … ) lmfao I could try to think of other lol things to invent, now that I have brains , such as lmhaoetinf ( Laughing My Huge Ass Off Even Though It’s Not Funny )
Or yihahaailio ( Yeah I Have A Huge Ass And I’m Laughing It Off ) and so on …